Finding Never land

"Never land is the way I would like real life to be ... timeless, free, mischievous, filled with gaiety, tenderness, and magic." ~ Mary Martin

When I was a child, the world through the prism of my eyes was nothing short of undaunted beauty, freedom and incalculable possibilities. It was innocent, blameless and above all full of love. My parents were to me the only gods there was and the only gods I would devotedly serve. I mean who wouldn’t love this unblemished setting? I recall being the most playful child in the block, I ran around rolling tires as cars, building sand castles for homes, dramatized husbands for fun, took a dive in every stream that had water in it. I didn’t care if were safe of not. ‘police and thief’ was the game we played all day, I only knew the American given name ‘Hide and seek’ not too many years ago. Anyway, the ghetto name has a classic touch to it. I mean life was easy. It was not the fact that my parents couldn’t afford the toys and clothing’s that I scowl at, it was the day coming to an end while my friends and I watched the sun sets and bid each other goodnight. These moments were pretty much the only tormenting parts of my day, or when I was instructed by my mother to take my afternoon siesta. I would grumble and grumble until she would spank and get me to sleep. Sometimes, she would cut me some slacks and let me play a little more. As far as I can tell, I had no problems at all. My entire childhood was indeed filled with blissful memories.

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If I was ever told that I would break some hearts or get mine broken a couple of times as a part of growing up, I would say the earth is flat and not spherical as some ignorant folks would argue. Again, if I was told that parenting is not as fun as they said it would be, I wouldn’t have played parents like I did when I was a child, or even wished to sporadically grow up so I could actualize my fantasy role. Growing in Nigeria does not in any way make it easy, it is either you are being harassed by police for some stupid reasons, or your life is being threatened by cult members, terrorist, bandits, kidnappers, unemployment, fuel scarcity, yahoo boys, the bank among other vices. I am constantly reminded about how I lost some friends to cult attacks, the same friends whose memories flood my childhood. Every time this tragic events are brought to my subconscious mind I could only wish that we remain children, so we can never grow old (in their case young) to die. Waltz Disney Peter Pan captured it aptly when they came up with the idea of ‘Neverland’ a place where we never grow up and old, a place where we have super powers to play all day, a place where we tap into limitless possibilities and fantasies. John, Michael, Irimiya, and Ahmed would fell to the cold hands of death. They made their choices but their choices wouldn’t count for much if they were children. And this I hold strongly.

'‘If I was ever told that I would break some hearts or get mine broken a couple of times as a part of growing up, I would say the earth is flat and not spherical as some ignorant folks would argue’.

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Now I know the fears of my parents, the tears behind every laugh, the pain behind every smile. Damn! They did a good job hiding it. I often wonder how my Dad keeps it all together with the pressure of life that springs from the unending family, work, personal, spiritual, mental and emotional demands. My mother, how she would cry when she feels overwhelmed. I recall busting on my mum crying, it was the weirdest thing ever, I couldn’t decipher if she was really crying or playing around. But now, in retrospect to this events I know that my parents to a large extent reviled growing up at some point in time in their lives. The sacrifices they made to put food on the table, to send us to the best schools in town from the little resource they had. I recall my mother breaking stones for stipends just so we could feed and my Dad riding commercial motorcycle, taking painting jobs among other jobs to make us comfortable. God bless all good parents! There is no way they couldn’t have wanted the latest designer cloths, a better house, and above all someone to take care of them like they do for us. I know they do not regret having us as their children, but I hold that the desire to take a break from adulthood is first place after the desire to see us self-actualize. I mean the circle is unending, I know this because I want a break from adulthood myself.

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From the prism of a grown man, I know that wishing to be a child again is like chasing fool’s gold, and desiring a semblance of the freedom that comes with that state of vulnerability is utopian. Jesus while speaking in Matthew 18:3 emphatically held that ‘unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven’. Hence, even salvation is tied to this state of ‘childishness’. This without a doubt confirms its pertinence. Again, He was found speaking in some places using the term ‘born again’ to refer to a process of rebirth, a transitional process from a grown man to a baby, and this has no ties to reincarnation. I submit that we, (regardless of race, class, ethnicity, creed, caste and religion) can again be children. As a matter of fact, its pertinence cannot be overemphasized. Within each grown man and woman is a sleeping child; innocence, freedom, creativity, compassion, forgiveness, simplicity, hope, humility, joy, happiness, patience and above all love. Search and find the child in you, free yourself and be a grown child. Life and its challenges would never stop heating at you, but the best weapon at your disposal is to simply change your perception- look at life from a child’s eyes and you would see the beauty in the ashes scattered all around you. Search and find your essence because Neverland is not a place it’s you - the younger you.

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash